May 31, 2010

As good a place to start as any...

Today my husband is home from work and is listening to old Beatles music, something I would never choose, but still seem to enjoy. The song “Yellow Submarine” brings back memories of when I was a little girl. I loved this song and the movie. I loved to watch the escape from the Blue Meanies (click here to see the whole movie on Google), and I would sing along. I sang yellow submarine like it was a nursery rhyme, which is what I thought it was. I could not imagine why someone would make something that great for grown-ups, it had to be for kids. I thought Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds was the prettiest song ever when I was three. Maybe because I could imagine all of the things described clearly, having already had a massive lsd trip when I was two.
My mother had taken me to a friend’s house who happened to be a drug dealer. She and and him were chit-chatting away happily when my mother said, ‘whats that in her mouth?’ at which point her friend leapt off the couch (this is my mom’s part of the story, as I have no recollection of this part of the story) at the speed of light only able to say oh my god, oh my god, oh my god…My mother was able to get out of him that it had been his stash of super powerful 4-way LSD tabs…7 of them. I ate all of them. That’s 28 hits people, in a two year old. And as far as I understand, the content of each tab in micrograms and in purity was much higher back then (1970). So you could say that I was flying pretty high within 30 minutes or so. Too late for stomach pumping, etc., though to hear my mother tell it, I was an expert at finding drugs in anyone’s home and if they had lost it years ago, chances are I would find it and eat it within minutes of arriving. My mother had to stop taking me to her friend’s houses and only invite them to her home…but alas, we still had instances of drinking Clorox, an entire bottle of cherry flavored pink medicine and who knows what else.
I know it will be hard for some people to swallow, but I actually remember bits and pieces from that ‘trip’. I may elaborate on that some other time, as I think that writing it down might cause me to remember more. I also wonder if it has anything to do with the fact that I remember things from before I was even able to talk. There are some people who think it’s impossible to have pre-verbal memories, but I can tell them without a doubt that they are wrong. I can remember the entire layout of our home when I was only a year old. We lived in Forest Knolls in Marin County, California, USA. I remember the trunk below the window at the top of the stairs. My mother would climb out of that window to sit on the roof and sun herself. I could climb the trunk and go out with her. I remember discovering gravity when I set my slice of banana down on the slightly sloped roof and watching it roll away as if it had a life of its own and had just decided it did not want to be eaten by me. So I let it go. I remember that house burning. I remember a lot of things, but I won’t write them now. The mood just struck me and I figured this is as good a place to start as any.
For anyone coming across this blog: As I wrote in some previous notes, I am mostly writing here to compile my thoughts. There will be no attempt at chronological order. If you happen to read it, please feel free to ask questions, as I hope they will help jar my memory or cause me to think in a direction not previously thought of.

KKinDK